Showing posts with label good thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label good thought. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

老年生活要有型 -- 曾野綾子


老年生活要有型!
 
 每個人都必須面對年老,高齡社會不單單是政府的事,大家都需要趁早認識瞭解年老,並且採取因應的方法。

銀髮族六項挑戰:

針對「如何怡然自得,而又樂觀奮進的度過晚年?」這個問題,日本  作家曾野綾子不像有的人,從社福或立法,提出一堆解決的方法,她直接向年老者挑戰,也包括她自己在內,要每個人從「要求自己」開始做起。

曾野綾子所提出來的「挑戰」有六項,分別是:要獨立、要工作、要通達、要獨處、要面對、要信仰。

1)老年要獨立
曾 野綾子認為,人老了依然有上天所給的智慧和才情,不但要珍惜,更要發揮,千萬不能隨便放棄,許多老人習慣依賴別人,對於困難或新奇的事不願(或不敢)接 觸,一開口就是請別人幫他的忙,曾野綾子叫這些老人是「幫我族」。其實,年齡不是人老的原因,心境才是,依賴人久了,不但原來所擁有的才情都  不見了,反而意志消沈,心志和體力都每況愈下。

人老切忌「倚老賣老」,年紀長不是一個資格,也不值得誇口,老人要學著主動放棄該有的權利,在捷運公車上,若能站著,即使別人讓位,也不要輕易坐下;當然更不要一上車就搶著找位子。

曾野綾子提醒「無論年紀多大,最重要的是『精神上的優雅』」,例如請別人服務時,要付出對等的酬勞,至於要如何酬謝,斟酌決定。

2)老年要「工作
戰前日本,全國上下勤奮工作,和早期臺灣一樣,那時候,工作到死方歇是理所當然的事,戰後出生的,不再有那樣的勞動觀,還在工作時,一心想要過安逸的退休生活,等到真正退休了,反而無所事事。

曾 野綾子強調「人應該工作到死」,她說「老人活的健康,祕訣在於有目的、有目標」,不要老是想「別人要為我做什麼?」反而是「我能為別人做什麼?」曾野綾子 是日本的名作家,也是日本財團的董事長,但她沒有雇用女傭,家裡的事,包括作菜、清掃、洗滌、種花,都不假手別人,凡事自己動手做。

3)老年要通達
「少年夫妻老來伴」,人到老年,才知老伴重要,這時候,彼此都要懂得退讓,成為「接受折衷」的夫妻,曾野綾子反對  「養兒防老」,她唯一的兒子離家讀大學後,就完全讓他獨立,彼此間相處有如朋友般的尊重,即便是孩子請客,她也會「回請」。

除 了老伴和老友;人老了,「老本」也很重要,曾野綾子強調老人要過「恰如其分」的生活,沒有錢,就不要奢望旅行、看戲;沒有錢,就把人情世故放旁邊,謝絕不 必要的婚喪喜慶,千萬不要「打腫臉充胖子」,再沒錢,都不要想在金錢上佔別人便宜;若是真的身無分文,自己要先有「死無葬身之地」的覺悟。

4)老年要懂得獨處
人老了,離開職場,家人也不在身邊,「孤  獨」是必然的,「孤獨」不但不是威脅,反而是感受人生喜悅的大好機  會,老人有的是時間,從「孤獨」中,不但可以發現自己,甚至可以嘗試「冒險」,當然要合情合理。曾野綾子在中、晚年曾經多次到落後國家賑災,也曾與人結伴開車橫越撒哈拉沙漠。

5老年要「面對」疾病、死亡:
保持健康當然重要,但是一旦得了任何  病,也要學著將疾病當作人生的一部份;就算在病痛中,也要一樣開朗,並從中找尋樂趣,老人家學著面對死亡,在活著時要將身後事安排妥當,不要給別人找麻煩。

曾野綾子的母親長年病痛,自從知道自己不能再出門後,就陸續把衣服、首飾轉送他人,她母親死前只給曾野留下兩套和服、兩雙夾腳拖鞋。

6老年要有「信仰」:
對一般人而言,以上所說的,都不容易做到,為  什麼曾野能有這種想法,並且能做的出來?因為她有信仰。曾野綾子信奉天主教,信仰幫助她從神的視野來看人生、作判斷,曾野在四十歲時勤讀聖經,她說神的話就像是一幅度數正確的眼鏡,戴上之後可以把人生看得清清楚楚。

我們沒有曾野綾子一般的生活經驗和果敢信念,也不必和她比較,但是至少可以想一想,上帝既然創造生命,包括年齡,祂所做的盡都美好,從神的眼睛來看,中年和老年必然有它的「獨特」和「精彩」!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

50 lessons life taught me -- Regina Brett

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

大前研一/聰明人必做的十件事

一.儲存友誼

靠得住的友誼是今生最溫暖的一件外套。它是
靠你的人品和性情打造的,一定要好好珍惜它
,如果到目前為止,您的通訊錄還沒幾筆,那
麼,從現在用心去儲存還來得及。

二.學會放手

這個年齡已經不允許不成熟,當你無力
把握命運中的 某種愛、某種緣、某種
現實,就要學會放手。給自己一個全新
的開始,只要信心在,勇氣就在,努力
在,成功就在。

三.播種善良 

一定要極盡自己所能,讓那些比你苦、 比你難過的人
感受到這世上的陽光和美麗。
這樣的善良常常是播種,在不經意間,就會
開出最美麗的人性之花。
轉寄有用的email就是傳播善良,積陰德,
輕而易舉的事,千萬不要吝嗇!

四.懂得音樂

一定要學or懂一種樂器,它會洗滌你的身心,
打開你的記憶和想像,更會帶來意想不到的寧
靜。另外還有攝影、收藏,它們都能讓我們的
生活增添滋味。

五.避開兩種苦

塵世間有兩苦,一是得不到之苦,二是鍾情之苦。
前者在你付諸努力之下,就把一切當作一場賭,勝
之坦然,敗之淡然,好在這年齡還有一定的資本得
以捲土重來; 至於後者可說是世間最苦,如果把這
時還有這樣的情愫,一定要像清除灰塵般,把它從
心屋裡掃出去。

六.學會承受 

有些事情需要無聲無息地忘記,經過
一次,就長一次智慧;有些痛苦和煩惱
得要默默地承受;歷鍊一次;就豐富一次
。這個年齡不該再像小時候那樣大喊大
叫,痛哭流涕。

七.常懷感恩心

當我們參加完葬禮,總會湧起一些感慨;
當我們大病初癒,總會有萬般珍惜。感恩
的心一定要時時保留,它不僅讓你憐惜身
邊人物,還能撫平欲望和爭鬥,甚至幸福
的感覺也往往源自於此。

八.熱愛工作

儘管它不像喝茶、聊天那般愜意,但它檢驗著
我們的智慧和能力,得以讓我們體現價值及獲
得成就。一定要全心愛它,畢竟它讓你大半生
有事做、有飯吃。

九.勤於學習

讀書和學習都是在和智慧聊天,每年至少要讀
五十本書,它不僅保證你的記憶力、感悟力,
還能讓你維持個性魅力,這可是練瑜伽做美容
所不能達到的效果。

十.享受運動

善用時間運動、享受自然。
你的體重就不會因懶惰而上漲,你的容貌也
不會因歲月而減少生動,在某種程度上更能
保存青春、快樂與健康。

45 lessons life taught me - Regina Brett

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."